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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26760667">Dragon Age: 刀剣乱舞</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/PomeGranny/pseuds/PomeGranny'>PomeGranny</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Dragon Age (Video Games), 刀剣乱舞 | Touken Ranbu</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Blood Magic, Blood and Injury, Canon-Typical Violence, Crossover, Crossovers &amp; Fandom Fusions, Demons, Dragon Age AU, M/M, Minor Character Death, Minor Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 13:28:46</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>10,567</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26760667</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/PomeGranny/pseuds/PomeGranny</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Drabble dump for my Dragon Age AU. There is no particular order to the drabble uploading, and ratings will be posted in each chapter summary.</p><p>Chapters: When the Well Runs Dry | Maleficar | Suledin | Reflecting</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Izuminokami Kanesada/Horikawa Kunihiro, Kashuu Kiyomitsu/Yamatonokami Yasusada</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. When the Well Runs Dry</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>After a month on the run and a steadily dwindling supply of lyrium, Kanesada faces off with every rogue templar's inevitable battle.</p><p>Warnings for this chapter: Withdrawal episode</p><p>[References]</p><p>On Lyrium: https://dragonage.fandom.com/wiki/Lyrium<br/>On Templars: https://dragonage.fandom.com/wiki/Templar_Order<br/>On the Circles of Magi: https://dragonage.fandom.com/wiki/Circle_of_Magi<br/>On Mages: https://dragonage.fandom.com/wiki/Mage</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The tremblings are what roused Horikawa out of his sleep. At first, he thought that Yasusada had decided to make good on his threats and finally dump a bunch of garden snakes into his cot. </span>
  <span>But when blue eyes shoot open, it’s not scared slithery beings creating the movement in his bed or an annoyingly satisfied Yasusada watching from the doorway the presence in a room that he thought was empty.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>It was Kanesada.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He must have returned as Horikawa tried to pass another day in isolation away by sleeping, no Circle tomes to study and Yasusada’s goodwill only extending enough to let him borrow one,’ </span>
  <em>
    <span>only one</span>
  </em>
  <span>,’ he insisted, book to help occupy this boring existence. But Kanesada seemed more dog tired than usual after pulling off a solo job that one of Kashuu’s unsavory underground friends had in supply for them as they tried to plan their daring escape from Kirkwall.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His hair spilled in messy tresses in front of a face that seemed even paler in the dim moonlight filtering in through the tiny window of their room. </span>
  <span>Kanesada laid his head in Kunihiro’s lap and his lips were slightly blue, nearly ice cold to the touch when Horikawa lays his hand in front of it, not so subtly looking for steady breathing. </span>
  <span>"Kane," he calls out as the trembling began growing, Kanesada's body shaking with an unprecedented amount of fervor. Even unconscious, teeth chattered and the templar's breath came in quick and uneven bursts. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Kane!" Horikawa tries again, trying to shake his partner awake as he continues to remain unresponsive.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After a rough shove, one almost knocking the young warrior from the bed, blue eyes finally shoot open as Kanesada rights himself. "What the hell?! Kunihiro, was that you?"  He demands sleepily, trying to rub the exhaustion from his heavy eyes.</span>
  <span>"Sorry, you were shaking a lot. Are you cold?" Horikawa asks, though more as a courtesy because he moves over on the small and lumpy cot leaving behind a comfortably warm spot for Kanesada to settle into as he throws the barely adequate blanket over the two of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Not anymore," he mutters quietly, gathering his mage companion into his arms, relishing in the warmth that Horikawa seemed to emanate even on the coldest of days. The mage hums, and for a moment things seem like there's nothing wrong. </span>
  <span>But then the tremors are back, nearly tenfold this time, as Kanesada's body begins to shake violently in a sudden fit. Horikawa tries to jump to action or at least, as much as one can when being caught in a bear hug by their much bulkier partner. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What's wrong? Are you hurt?" Horikawa asks, only able to try and soothe whatever turmoil Kanesada's body must have been in. He despairs when the templar falls silent again, only shallow breaths and the continued chattering of his teeth giving him any indication of what the templar </span>
  <em>
    <span>might</span>
  </em>
  <span> have been going through. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"...D-Dry. Too quiet, insides are empty," Kanesada begins to mutter nonsensically, grip tightening on the image's body as the trembling and chattering continues with no signs of stopping. "Do you need food? Maybe some water too, I'll be right back," Horikawa offers, pushing against his companion to free himself from the death grip he had on him to try and rectify the situation.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But there is no move to let him go, strong arms still drawn taut over the mage's lower back as Kanesada tucks him back under his chin. "Don't- don't leave. Nightmares everywhere, but not you. Where..." the panicked rambling stalls for a moment and the trembling finally, </span>
  <em>
    <span>finally</span>
  </em>
  <span>, calm some. </span>
  <span>But Horikawa's blood runs cold anyways as Kanesada falls silent, almost eerily so. The worry is enough to make him fight against the grip and maneuver his way from under his partner to try and get a good look at his face and-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Kanesada's eyes are open, bloodshot, and staring with an empty gaze at the wall. It looked as if he were in a trance and he remained unblinking, the occasional twitch of his body the only indication that he hasn't left this mortal coil. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Just as Horikawa is about to jump up in a panic and call for Yasusada and Kashuu to help, to do <em>something</em>, pale lips open and words are coming out. They're mostly soft and barely articulated but he can make out something.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"-I? Where am I?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The mage blinks in confusion, bringing a slender hand to caress the face of his partner, hoping to lull him into some sense of security. "We're in Lowtown Kanesada, with Kashuu and that blood mage," he offers, fingers tracing gentle circular patterns across soft cheeks.</span>
</p><p>
  <span> "We're not in the Gallows anymore?" He asks weakly, eyes dashing around rapidly and breaths coming in shallow and uneven. Horikawa shakes his head, continuing his soft caresses as he tries to catch his partner's glassy-eyed staring. "You said we had to leave, remember? We were going to go to another Circle," he says softly and after moments of Kanesada staring in strained concentration, he nods weakly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Right... we had to leave. The knight-commander, I could </span>
  <em>
    <span>smell</span>
  </em>
  <span> the evil coming off of her, the lyrium sings a different song to her I could feel it. She..." the templar trails off, pulling Horikawa close to his chest, arms tightly wound as if to protect him from the world. "We had to leave to keep you safe... and you'll be safe," he says resolutely, melting into the soft caress of his back that his partner was attempting to placate him with.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Horikawa can only look up at his partner with sad eyes, unsure of himself. They had known that the lyrium was what gave templars their power, but it wasn't until they escaped the Circle that Kanesada was face to face with the effects of going without it. They had to ration more, especially when Kashuu couldn't smuggle more than what was asked of him by whatever shady employers there were- not to mention he already was skimming for Yasusada on occasion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>So there were nights like this one, where Kanesada became so detached from sense and reality that he could barely hold on to some semblance of being. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>And it was all that Horikawa could do to hold him, and hope that he could keep him safe. The effects of lyrium withdrawal were terrifying, but the mage could only worry more about what would happen if Kanesada kept using the stuff. </span>
  <span>Him having his skills as a templar did much to reassure Kunihiro and keep him safe- from his magic and from whatever malicious demons the other mage enjoyed bringing around. But the toll this was taking on him...</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Hey, don't make that face. I'm fine now, I'll be fine. Kashuu said he'd nick a few extra bottles for us this time and he should be back soon," Kanesada says, sounding surprisingly coherent for one who was falling apart mentally not moments ago. Horikawa makes an unhappy face as he looks at his partner from his position in the other's arms as his hands continue to draw delicate patterns on the templar's back. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"...Is this the right thing to do? For you to keep taking the lyrium?" He asks after a suspended moment of silence. Kanesada quirks a dark eyebrow and tilts his head curiously at his partner. "Why wouldn't it be? It's the only thing that makes me a templar," Horikawa gives him another dissatisfied look, and Kanesada continues with a wave of a tired hand.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Besides, I don't trust Yasusada around you- not when he seems set on bringing demons around when no one's looking," he defends, drawing Horikawa closer to him. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Look, don't worry about it. It might suck being off of it now and again but it's nothing I can't handle! I'll worry about all this stuff, you just worry about how to get through the day having to hang around a blood mage," Kanesada says adamantly, before planting a soft kiss on Horikawa's forehead. "I'm gonna go to sleep, goodnight,"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Horikawa wants to say more, he doesn't want the conversation to be over. Not when the topic at hand was his partner's wellbeing. But Kanesada is already snoring, unsurprisingly quickly, and even though there's a twinge of guilt that comes with it, Horikawa is uncertain of himself. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>If there wasn't a templar to keep him in check, or at least keep the more morally loose mages of the world in check- he's uncertain if he would be able to hold his own against a demon trying to possess him; but that was a dark and grim future he didn't want to consider right now and so he turns to return the chaste kiss of his lover, soft lips brushing against Kanesada's chin. "Good night," he whispers gently, hoping that his fragile hold on his partner was enough to keep him safe from whatever would come next</span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Maleficar</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Magic exists to serve man, and never to rule over him. Foul and corrupt are they who have taken His gift and turned it against his children. They shall be named Maleficar, accursed ones. They shall find no rest in this world. Or beyond.<br/>-Transfigurations 1:2</p><p>Too bad Yasusada was never taught the chant of light.</p><p>Warnings: Blood, self-harm</p><p>References:<br/>On Blood Magic: https://dragonage.fandom.com/wiki/Blood_magic<br/>On Apostates: https://dragonage.fandom.com/wiki/Apostate<br/>On the Dalish: https://dragonage.fandom.com/wiki/Dalish<br/>On Maleficar: https://dragonage.fandom.com/wiki/Maleficar#:~:text=A%20maleficar%20(plural%20maleficarum)%2C,slain%20on%20sight%20by%20templars.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Some important notes for this chapter:</p><p>-Yasusada is an apostate, who had been raised by a Dalish clan, but is human<br/>-Kashuu is a half-elf in this AU, with more elfy ears.<br/>-The self-harm in this chapter is not long and is only related to blood magic</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Yasusada could never be considered much of a sharp person, making it a wonder that Kashuu could survive so long with an apostate who seemingly all but told templars he's an outlaw mage via his dalish get up and extremely vocal criticisms of the chantry. Seriously, who just scoffs at a statue of Andraste in front of <em>templars</em>?</p><p>But he wasn’t so dull as to not notice the worried glances his half-elf partner kept stealing as Yasusada sits by the fire of the camp, wanting to enjoy the flickering flames just a little more before he turns in to their shared tent after a long day of honest work in hunting down slavers. He wants to brush off the worried looks being shot his way, but Kashuu was settled in his periphery, idly cleaning up any remaining rations left out- obviously wanting to say something, but mouth stubbornly set in a thin line.</p><p>"You know I have ears. If you want to talk about something, I should be able to hear you," Yasusada says, playing with the embers of the camp’s small fire. He’s flicking small sparks of flame with his fingers at them, taking childish delight out how they light up and jump around in the safety of the pit. It did well to distract him from the slight irritation that came with ruby eyes trained on him as if waiting for him to do something. Kashuu watches him play a moment before sighing and taking a place next to Yasusada on the ground, hoping that the coolness of the dewy grass is enough to help prepare him for this conversation.</p><p>It isn't.</p><p>“Yasusada, we’ve been together for a while now, right?” he begins tentatively, the mage rolling his sapphire eyes with a scoff- too aware that he was just beating around the bush. “You’re not this worked up just to ask me questions that you know the answers to. Just say what’s on your mind,” Yasusada complains, his focus no longer on the fire as he turns to face his partner, feet settled comfortably over the familiar texture of the grass and dirt as he draws his knees to his chest.</p><p>Looking at the other, now occupied, tent, briefly the halfling meets the eyes of the Circle mage, Horikawa, who gives him a worried but firm look before joining the templar inside. Yasusada gives him a confused look in kind, eyes narrowing with suspicion. “What is it?”</p><p>Kashuu heaves a heavy breath before meeting his partner’s gaze. “Yasusada, are you practicing blood magic?” he asks bluntly. The way the young mage sputters, looking more flustered than anything else is enough to make the hairs on the back of the rogue’s neck stand. But he had to hear it from his partner, he wouldn’t believe Kanesada, a slightly airheaded templar, about his suspicions of Yasusada until he had solid proof.</p><p>Still, Yasusada is silent before averting his gaze, arms now folded around his legs as he stubbornly refuses to look the other man in his eyes, “Why are you asking me something like that?” he says, voice soft and uncertain- something that should be more evidence that this was the worst-case scenario. “Answer my question Yasusada. Are you using blood magic?” he repeats, voice hardened as Yasusada shirks away from him, still turned away as if he was trying to hide. “S-Sometimes I might,” he mutters so softly, the rogue is almost uncertain he spoke at all.</p><p>“For the love of-! Yasusada! You’re a <em> maleficar </em> ?!” Kashuu demands and stands up offensively as Yasusada shies away from him. "No, I'm not! Maleficar do bad things and they hurt people, I haven't hurt anyone!" He defends, picking himself up off the ground in kind. "Yasusada, what do you think you're doing?! You're bringing demons around yourself <em>and </em> Horikawa? You're both mages, do you realize the danger you're in?!" The half-elf is pacing around in frustration and Yasusada doesn't know how to calm him from his anger.</p><p> </p><p>"It's not like that at all Kiyomitsu! I'm not in danger, I know what I'm doing!" He tries but his partner looks only more distressed. "What was the first thing Okita taught you? Taught <em>both </em>of us?! Blood magic is dangerous and evil!" Kashuu shouts, uncaring if their other companions were able to hear him from their tents. "It's only evil if you use it for evil things! Blood magic has helped me keep both of us safe and protected! Protected <em> me </em> from being taken away by templars and protected <em> you </em> from asshole humans who only see your ears!" Yasusada argues back, unaware of the fire in the pit flickering and dancing with his sudden sparks of passion.</p><p>Kashuu notices it, however, and inches away from the fire. "Yasusada, calm down," he says warily, knowing full well that this is far from his first emotional outburst; something that could end poorly with an angry enough mage.</p><p>The mage doesn't seem placated and only continues to seethe despite his efforts. "You've always been upset with my magic even when I wasn't using blood magic, but now that the stupid circle mage and his templar have come along you just seem to hate it even more!"</p><p>The fire responds to his anger in kind, now jumping and dancing higher and higher in its place, flaring out as Yasusada argues more. "Yasusada, calm down!" Kashuu demands, now stepping completely away from the fire. "Do you want me to be Horikawa? Is that it?! You'd rather I become some complacent circle mage who doesn’t do anything but what other people tell me I should do? That I should hate myself and my magic even though the only thing I ever did wrong was be <em> born </em> this way?”</p><p>“Damn it, Yasusada- the fire!”</p><p>Just as the inferno is about to jump out into a full-blown blaze, it dies down immediately- settling into its original space in the fire pit before continuing its rhythmic dance over the dried wood and leaves. Kanesada stands outside of his tent with a displeased look and his sword drawn, accompanied by Horikawa who was protectively holding his staff and seemingly moments away from striking.</p><p>"I don't know what you're planning, but you're not hurting anyone with your magic while I'm around," The templar says, sounding the most serious Kashuu has ever heard him. "Kashuu's your <em>friend </em>and you were going to hurt him! This is why mages like you don't belong outside of a circle," Horikawa adds on, glaring at Yasusada who had yet to move.</p><p>Or even say a word- much to the elf's surprise. Yasusada never backed down from any kind of fight- even if he knew he would lose- but Yasusada is staring vacantly at the ground with heavy breathing. "Yasusada?" Kashuu tries, dropping his arms that were raised to shield himself from the fire. But there's once again, no response.</p><p>Yasusada is still, almost eerily so- looking forward with unfocused eyes as his breathing becomes labored. Slowly, his pale hands grip his head before his mouth opens up to let out a shrill shriek, doubling over as he wails. "Yasusada!" Kashuu shouts, rushing to his partner's side, hands hovering uncertainly over his trembling form. "What the hell do you think you're doing?! Stop it! You're hurting him!" he demands, fierce eyes glaring up at the templar, dressed down to his nightclothes with Horikawa still sticking closely by his side. Kanesada approaches the pair, Kashuu instinctively pulling Yasusada closer despite whatever agony he might be in, hoping that he’d be enough to protect his partner from what might come next.</p><p>"He's not in a lot of pain, he's probably just freaking out about me blocking him from the fade. Your blood mage was going to kill you, why are you defending him?" he asks, tone more accusing than anything else as he sizes them both up with a critical eye. “Yasusada might be a little... misguided, but I know he wouldn’t kill me- much less hurt me! Stop what you’re doing and just let him go!”</p><p>But there was no move on Kanesada’s end to stop and Yasusada's wailing remained, curled on Kashuu's lap with his body shaking- the half-elf unable to do anything to comfort his partner. "I won't. You need to understand that he's a danger to everyone here and that I'm going to have to deal with him the way any templar should deal with a <em> maleficar </em>," the templar says with a voice too uncharacteristically even and stoic for the slight oaf of a warrior Kashuu had come to know him as- which was annoying beyond all belief as much as it was terrifying at this moment.</p><p>"Kashuu, I know you care about him but you'll only make things worse if we don't let Kanesada handle the situation. He's not cruel like some other templars, Yasusada won't suffer long," Horikawa says gently like he was trying to convince a child out of their attachment to a stray. It was hard to believe that they were trying to sway Kashuu into letting them <em>kill </em> Yasusada! Backing away from the pair with his partner in his grip, he spits out as much. "You're <em>not </em>killing him! He hasn't hurt anyone, so fuck off before you really piss me off!" He defends venomously, previous anger at the mage in his arms completely abandoned in favor of directing it at the two before him.</p><p>"You shouldn't have been involved with him in the first place- mages aren't meant for the outside world. We're doing the both of you a favor," Kanesada argues, cyan eyes sharpening with anger as he approaches the two men, sword ready to cut down Yasusada- who had suddenly become worryingly silent.</p><p>It's a sharp and sudden cry of the templar yelling out and falling to the ground that keeps Kashuu from giving up on talking to Kanesada to try and jump a much more professionally trained combatant than himself. The scent of fire singing hair is pungent in the night air of the camp as Kanesada is brought to his knees, wailing out in pain. "What the hell Kunihiro?!" He demands, writhing on the ground in pain- a burn singing and searing the skin on his back, only protected by a worn tunic.</p><p>The circle mage is unresponsive, save for his worried -more like mortified- expression and heavy breathing. He struggles to choke out any kind of word to communicate his current predicament, but all that comes out is a strained "S-Stop- hi...m," before his tongue is rendered useless and he's struggling to fight for control of it.</p><p>Blinking in confusion, Kashuu looked down to the mage in his lap who was now resting against his chest, feverish and sweaty skin sticks to the leather of his vest as Yasusada rights himself in his lap- a large gash spewing blood from a pale palm as the dagger that Kashuu could have sworn was still in its sheath rested in the other's fist, covered with the same viscous red liquid.</p><p>Magic was something Kashuu wasn't well attuned to, making most fights that didn't involve flashy visuals nonsensical to him. But whatever it was that Yasusada had done, whatever beast he called from the depths of the unknown to take over Horikawa, was bringing down an oppressive and almost suffocating force on the atmosphere. It felt as though the air was being choked from his lungs and had every intention of not stopping until he lay dead. Yasusada remains eerily quiet as he tries to catch his breath before hurriedly picking himself off the ground, pulling up the halfling with him.</p><p>"We've got to go, <em> now</em>. The demon will only be able to hold them off for so long, so get your things quick! I'll yell at you later for inviting a templar to join us," Yasusada hisses, already picking up what few trinkets and belongings they had brought along, nudging Kashuu sharply with an elbow when he didn't make a move. "Didn't you hear me? Let's go!"</p><p>But Kashuu could only gape at his partner in shock and disbelief before he finally snaps out of his stupor- smacking the young mage upside his head, his previous rage returning. "You summoned a fucking <em> demon</em>! Did you have to do that?!" Kashuu argues, looking at the templar who was struggling to get on his knees and the mage who couldn't move a muscle with pity.</p><p>"What was I supposed to do? <em> Die</em>? We can argue after we're as far away from those two lunatics as soon as possible!" Yasusada retorts, already rushing towards the edge of the forest they had made camp in- until lacquered hands grip the back of his robes and yanks him back harshly.</p><p>"What they were going to do was uncalled for, but the only crazy person here right now is you! Put that demon back where it came from or so help me-!" Red eyes stare down Yasusada with fury, a look saved for letting him know just how bad he was fucking up at that moment. With an aggravated huff, Yasusada takes the dagger still in hand and slices a fresh wound into his unmarred palm- eyes closed in focus as he expels the suffocating presence, things now back to normal.</p><p>Horikawa drops to his knees that moment he gets feeling returned to his limbs and stares numbly at the ground in panicked disbelief- to dumbfounded to react to what just happened. Kanesada however, jumps to his feet the moment he feels the oppressive aura lift from the air and turns to run through the blood mage with his blade with an enraged shout. "You bastard!" He snarls with grit teeth, before Kashuu's lithe body barrels into his own and knocks him to the ground. "That's enough! From all of you!" He shouts, tone leaving little space for argument.</p><p>"Are you crazy?! Why are you defending that- that- <em> thing </em> ?! He could have just killed us all!" Kanesada demands as Kashuu pushes himself off the muscled body of the warrior, warily holding his remaining dagger out at the downed templar. "He <em>could </em>have but he didn't! Stop trying to punish him for things that haven't happened yet!" Kashuu shouts, somewhat grateful that Yasusada hadn't run off as he had half expected.</p><p>Speaking of him- "And you!" He yells, not taking much pride in how Yasusada winces and shrinks in on himself. "Stop it with the demons and blood magic! What the hell are you thinking?!" None of those were requests or even demands. The conviction Kashuu spoke with was to inform him that those were facts- the inevitable if Yasusada didn't want to disappoint him. The rogue decides on shelving the thought that this form of speaking was way too similar to their long since dead mentor, and instead waits for the backlash he had been expecting from either party- equal parts fear and irritation making him ready to argue until he was blue in the face.</p><p>Yasusada remains stubbornly silent, looking away like a dog who had been scolded as he folded his arms across his chest. Kanesada however, seemed to have enough fight left in him as he picked himself off the ground. “We <em>told </em>you he was a blood mage. You know that he is even more of a threat now than he was before- using that savage dalish magic along with this is too much. The order dictates-” Kanesada hisses out, watching with satisfaction as Yasusada bristles with anger at ‘savage dalish.’ But Kashuu cuts him off with a glare, now a few steps closer than before. “I don’t give a damn what your stupid order dictates! I’m pretty sure they’d have a few words to say about a rogue templar running off with a mage and turning him into an apostate!”</p><p>“Horikawa is not an apostate!” Kanesada argues as Kashuu continues to stare him down like he was some sort of wild animal waiting to strike. “If another templar came around, they wouldn’t know that! Now go help your illegal mage friend, go take the lyrium that had been <em>smuggled </em>for you and we never talk about this again,” he barks out authoritatively, taking a little pride when the templar huffily walks over to his partner.</p><p>Horikawa gratefully takes Kanesada’s broad hand, leaning heavily against him. “This isn’t over,” he spits out at the rogue, who had finally sheathed the short blade and scoffed. “Not until you stop harboring an apostate,” he spits back, and the two are thankfully back in their tent. Yasusada is still silent when Kashuu puts his attention back on him, toeing the ground as he keeps his arms tightly wrapped around himself, blood still pouring freely from his open wounds. "I... I'll go fix my hands," the young mage says quietly, quickly walking towards their tent before the rogue speaks up.</p><p>"You're still going to use it, aren't you?" he says, Yasusada needing no context as he pauses a moment in front of the tent, hand gripping and staining the canvas with his blood before turning his gaze away once more. He couldn't bring himself to face Kashuu when he was being analyzed so thoroughly. "I won't let anyone hurt you. No matter what," Yasusada says resolutely, expecting the frustrated sigh he receives. "Don't get all of us killed," are the words they part with as Yasusada leaves Kashuu alone to rub his face with lacquered hands.</p><p>If demons didn't kill him, Kashuu was sure that these three would be the ones to do the job.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Did I say that this was a self-indulgent AU yet? Because this really is</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Dareth Shiral</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>"Time was once a blessing, but long journeys are made longer when alone within. Take spirit from the long-ago but do not dwell in lands no longer yours. Be certain in need, and the path will emerge to a home tomorrow and time will again be the joy it once was,"</p><p>-Suledin, a Dalish Song</p><p>Yasusada's origin story: Finding out what is home.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>References for this Chapter: </p><p>The Dalish: https://dragonage.fandom.com/wiki/Dalish<br/>The Grey Wardens: https://dragonage.fandom.com/wiki/Grey_Wardens<br/>The Blight: https://dragonage.fandom.com/wiki/Blight<br/>The Dales: https://dragonage.fandom.com/wiki/Dales<br/>The Exalted March: https://dragonage.fandom.com/wiki/Exalted_Marches<br/>Vallaslin: https://dragonage.fandom.com/wiki/Vallaslin</p><p>*see bottom notes for translations*</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>Yasusada couldn’t help the tears pooling in his eyes as the rain fittingly fell gently from the sky. The halla also seemed to mourn along with him as he stared sadly at the pen, the creatures approaching the forlorn boy with worried cries. Usually the sound of the loud and, at times, vexing creatures he could do without. </span>
  <span>But now, when someone was coming to take him away from the only life he had ever known, did Yasusada wish dearly to carve the memory of them into his mind. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>He wants to be angry that the Keeper had allowed the clan to convince her to let him go but he knew he was being unreasonable- there were too many mages now with the recent addition of orphans from another clan who had met an unfortunate end. </span>
  <span>There was always the possibility of this happening, but so low were the odds that they both thought nothing of it; even faced with the situation, the Keeper was going to gladly send the other children off instead, but the Hahrens were having none of it.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The young mage overheard them arguing that night as he was going to settle off into bed under a brilliant night sky, angry voices filtering out from one of the larger tents. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>“You surely cannot be serious. You are willing to put those children through more trials instead of getting rid of the shem child? He is not one of our own! It does not matter if we’ve taught him of the old ways, he will never have the blood of the Dales!” One of them shouts- it was an older elven man that had persistently made Yasusada’s life more difficult when he was around.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“Of course I am! I have held that shem child since he was but a baby, he is my own, </span>
  <em>
    <span>our</span>
  </em>
  <span> own! I simply cannot send him off for the state of his ears. I have made compromise after compromise with you all regarding him, just allow me this!" She shouts passionately, with a fervor Yasusada had never seen from his caregiver. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I could not make him my First, so I took him as my Second. I wanted him to learn of our people so we might have one good shem who understood us, and you forbade him his vallaslin. Stop giving this child reason to hate!” she demanded as Yasusada watched them rant at each other. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>She had been just as outraged as he felt, but still somewhere deep in his young heart Yasusada couldn’t shake the feeling that his time with the Dalish, the only family he had ever known, was going to be cut short.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>In the end, his keeper came to him with tearful eyes the next morning as she gripped him tightly in her arms. “I am so sorry da’len. There is only one last thing I can do for you,” she said, voice overwhelmed with sadness as she looked at him with a tear-stained face. “The other Hahren will not let me keep you with us, because of how many we have blessed with magic here,” she says when Yasusada blinks in distressing confusion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>“But I don’t want to leave! I want to stay here with you and all my friends,” he pleads, eyes welling up with tears as he grips her robes into a tight embrace. “I’m so scared... where will I go?” he asks meekly, unaware of how much his worried voice broke the heart of the aged elven woman now running a soothing hand through his hair. “They allowed me some time for me to find someone suitable to take you in. Tell me da’len,  do you know of the Grey Wardens?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And since that day, it was decided that Yasusada would be taken under the wing of a man who, according to his keeper, was a kind human with the duty of protecting the world from the evil of the blight. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's something our clan has been blessed with, not having to deal with the blight directly, but it is an ancient and terrifying evil unleashed upon the world," she explains as they sit by the fire the following evening when Yasusada cocks his head in confusion.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"To swear oneself against it is to become a Grey Warden, something that takes much bravery and selflessness. They have always been friends to the Dalish, and this Warden is no different. He is a shemlen, but one of the rare few that show compassion in their eyes and has been protecting the outskirts of our forests from the blight," the Keeper says with a nostalgic smile before her face becomes worried once more.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What he does is dangerous, and what he has asked in return will require you to have the same courage as he when the time comes," she says, gaze now on the ground and eyes more distraught than before. Yasusada had no idea what she meant or what she could possibly be talking about but... this was his Keeper. If he couldn't trust her, then he could trust no one in this world. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>So he nods, deciding he only needs to know enough of what she said and little more. Yasusada was going to be safe, and he was going to go with a good man.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He repeats those words to himself even as now, a cloaked stranger approaches him along with his Keeper, the rain only adding to the somber atmosphere. It doesn't take much for Yasusada to understand that his time has come to leave, and the halla begins to wail with sadness while a few of them huff in frustration, shaking their heads in an agitated manner.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"So, this is the child you would like me to take in?" The man, definitely human, Yasusada notes as he takes his hood off to reveal a pale face set starkly against black hair- round ears hidden behind a long fringe that didn't make it into the ponytail that sat behind the man's head. </span>
  <span>Yasusada can't help his nervous reaction, every story of angry and mob-like humans coming to attack Dalish camps and steal their children- not to mention brutal anecdotes of the Exalted March, both serving to shake the nerves he tried so hard to steel. The young mage can barely even register when he's being spoken to.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You may call me Okita. And you are?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Keeper was right, there was a certain amount of warmth that reflected in kind eyes, and yet Yasusada could only stare in tense silence at the man before him, trying to form a word with trembling lips with no success.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Please forgive him, it may seem odd but you're the first human the child has seen. Most of our experiences with other shemlen are not... pleasant," she says carefully, summing up every conflicting emotion running through his head as she picks up on his silence. </span>
  <span>The Warden, Okita, raises a dark eyebrow in confusion and peers at the side of Yasusada's head with, face growing more incredulous as he takes in Yasusada's own round ears. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I suspected as much. However..." the cloaked man trails off as he pulls back, questions written all over his face. "How did </span>
  <em>
    <span>you</span>
  </em>
  <span> end up with the Dalish, little one?" Yasusada is asked directly, but the young mage is still unable to speak up and looks at his Keeper with pleading eyes- silently begging for her help.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And in all honesty, it wasn't a question Yasusada knew the answer to. His clan was the only family he had in the world, even with how disdainful some of the elders could be. There were no memories of a human family that had reared him and hearing the rumors of how humans treated magic, well... </span>
</p><p>
  <span>One of the kinder <em>Hahren</em> implored him to not think about it too long. "There is no sense in holding onto tragedy," he had said with sad eyes when Yasusada asked him for answers.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Sensing his distress, the Keeper walks up to him and puts a warm hand around his shoulder and pulls him close to her side. </span>
  <span>"We found the boy very young. He had been left in the forest in nothing more than a basket, and we couldn't leave him behind," she says, and Yasusada nods along. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>That much, he had heard from one of the other children who had decided to pester their parents into telling them how Yasusada ended up with the clan. He wasn't sure how to feel if anything at all about that. He might have been abandoned but was found by good people, better people who never thought to leave one of their own stranded at their most vulnerable. </span>
  <span>"There was nothing else we could find nor could we risk other humans seeing us with one of their own, lest they assumed the worst of us," That... was something he hadn't heard before. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Thinking on it only made him more afraid of what the world outside of the forest might be like; If there were people who would hurt the kind elves who had saved him without reason, then-</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He has been raised as a Dalish through and through and to whatever end you intend to use the boy for, just know you'll be getting one of our best. He is young, but his affinity for magic and his dedication to his studies has yet to be rivaled, even by my First," she finishes proudly, though her firm grip was strengthened by how hard she had been trying to hold back her emotion in front of the Warden, eyes filled with stubborn determination.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Okita listens with an impressed expression as the Keeper spoke, nodding in understanding. "I see. I certainly didn't expect one of your own to be human, but the Dalish surely surpasses our own compassion and honor by this," the Warden says reverently, surprising Yasusada with his words. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>The Keeper said he was different from other humans, but he finds himself hoping that the others would be just as nice as this one, who didn't seem as scary as the stories made them out to be.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"But, you will have nothing to be afraid of when we leave. Just stick by my side and you'll be alright," he says, lips pulling into a friendly smile- a smile that reassured him just as much as the familiar scent of his home and family. Yasusada looks up to the Keeper uncertainly, and with a pained smile, she urges him towards Okita. "Give him your name, <em>da'len</em>," </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yasusada takes a deep breath as he approaches the man, no longer clutching at the Keeper's robes with fingernails digging into the flesh of his palm instead. "I'm Yasusada," he says meekly, still nervously testing the waters of this new person. Okita smells faintly of sandalwood and ash, something that was almost calming, he thinks belatedly.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"That's a nice name. Your Keeper says you're about fourteen, is that correct?"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yasusada nods, though even now his age was still up for debate. He trusted whatever his Keeper said, but there were some mothers in the clan who had insisted he was younger or older than that- blaming his being a human making it impossible for them to get an accurate read. </span>
  <span>Breaking him out of his thoughts, Okita nods contemplatively, quiet a moment before looking back at the Keeper. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"He still is pretty young, even by the standards of the Wardens. But, it wouldn't be a waste to keep Yasusada by my side while he grows to a more appropriate age for what we have planned. I also have another ward around your age," he says, looking at Yasusada as he says the last part. </span>
  <span>"He's a bit of a troubled child, but he means well. Or at least I think he does," Okita says this with a bit of a sheepish smile. "You two may get along well, and he's a half-elf. Though I don't think he's ever met one of the Dalish before, he might like learning about them,"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Yasusada wasn't certain how to feel about that. He had heard of elves that had lived in cities that had no idea of what the old ways even were, living pale imitations of what the Dalish had, but no connection outside of that. </span>
  <span>Some of the clan thought of them sadly, while others did so with disdain. The Keeper seemed to be heartened by this fact, though, as she looked down at Yasusada.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's a shame that many of our people still don't know of the old ways, but Yasusada will be a great teacher. My heart feels less burdened knowing that you will not be alone," she says softly and Okita nods. </span>
  <span>"I won't lie, Kiyomitsu can be a bit of a hand full, even for a Warden like me. But I'm sure having a friend around to help keep him in line will make things easier," the Warden says with a kind laugh, eyes closing slightly with a smile.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>His personality and aura were both so... warm. Despite the rain, it felt as though the sun was coming out and shining down on Yasusada's burdened heart. Not to mention, he wouldn't be completely alone, there was someone else in his shoes too.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Whoever this 'Kiyomitsu' was would definitely love to learn about the history of the elves and Yasusada was going to make sure he made it as fun as the Keeper did for him- a small amount of excitement beginning to blossom beneath all of the melancholy. </span>
  <span>It made the pain of the halla weeping at his departure and the sad looks of the precious few friends he had grown to know as his family gave him.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"It's time now <em>da'len</em>. Gather your things and meet us at the entrance of the camp. I must go over some things with the Warden and then we'll..." the Keeper begins to say, before her eyes well up with tears- she sharply turns away as she takes a steadying breath.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Her words broke Yasusada from his thoughts and the young mage feels more sadness as he watches her. </span>
  <span>He might never have had a mother, but if a mother was the one who healed your bruises after you tripped over a rock, scolded you for taking too much food when it wasn't dinner time, and sang you lullabies after you woke up crying from a scary dream... maybe he actually did.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>And he would have to leave her now, though the Warden's kind smile gently reminds Yasusada- 'I'm going to be safe, and I'm going to go with a good man,' he thinks to himself again, slowly growing more confident than he was before.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"We'll be seeing you off," She says after a steadying breath, urging Yasusada along to his own tent to grab his things.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As Yasusada leaves, Okita hesitantly places a comforting hand on the woman's shoulder. "For what it's worth when the time comes, I think he will have what it takes to become a great Grey Warden. We know the Dalish have only ever given us their best," he says, trying to muster every ounce of sympathy that he could for the grieving elf as the boy wandered off.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"I know as we've discussed before, once I give my- </span>
  <em>
    <span>this</span>
  </em>
  <span> child to you... I will likely never see him again. If that's the case, then let us speak quickly- I have something I must give you," she says in response, beckoning the warden to another tent.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>After Yasusada grabs his pack -double-checking that his journal full of prayers, songs, and legends was in there first and foremost along with his clothes, and a few other scrolls filled with writings from his Keeper of the ancient elvhen- he begins to walk with heavy feet out of his tent.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As he exits, he's greeted with the faces of his clan- his family. They have all gathered to see him off, as the pungent scent of incense was wafted through their camp. It was eerily similar to a funeral rite they had performed once before when one of their own had succumbed to sickness.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Some of those who he recognized looked smugly upon him just as he expected they would be, too glad to be rid of him. But those didn't mean as much to him as the weeping faces of the other Dalish children or some of the Hahren who helped raise him, to see how much he would be missed. </span>
  <span>Parting the crowd of elves was his Keeper and the Warden, standing at the entrance, the Keeper now looking upon him as he approached with tears flowing freely from her eyes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"<em>Da'len</em>, it is with a heavy heart that we must part ways. While not venturing on into the Beyond as the rest of dearly departed, you will walk a new path that will take you from us, perhaps forever," she says loudly for all to hear, greeting him solemnly as he walks up to her, eyes still sadly falling on everything he was going to leave behind.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"You will take a new role, a new purpose in life when the time comes. As your Keeper, I have done all that I could to prepare you for this, <em>shemlen</em> though you may be,"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Let us remember the child fondly and greet those memories the way we would with our own kin, as we have come to know him. With your passing on into this new life, may you not be guided by <em>Falon'din</em> to your rest- but by <em>Mythal's</em> protection into whatever trials you may face ahead," she finishes, greeting him with her hands on his shoulders once more- for the final time in his life.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>As the Keeper draws him closer to her, her voice drops only for him to hear as she presses their foreheads together. </span>
  <span>"It has been my honor raising you, <em>da'len</em>. Whatever may come, know that we will always be praying for your safety and success," she says, wiping the tears from her eyes. </span>
  <span>Seeing everyone so sad was soon starting to make Yasusada's eyes sting, growing wet as he looks at his Keeper's tear-stained face.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He brings his arms up to hold onto the arms of his Keeper, leaning into the warmth of her forehead. "Thank you, for everything," are the only words he can bear to muster without breaking down right then and there. He almost wants to stay in this moment forever, stay caught up in the heavy emotions.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>But the Keeper is the one to break their embrace, handing him off to Okita with a firm look, or at least, as firm as one could be while weeping. "I trust you will make good on your promise to keep the boy safe," she says, only for Okita to bend himself down on one knee and bow his head.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"As a Grey Warden, you have my word,"</span>
</p><p>
  <span>The keeper gives a sad smile, something that Yasusada will never forget- knowing she was just as in pain as he was this day- and Okita is back up on his feet. "Let's go little one. Kiyomitsu is an impatient one and there's no doubt he's dying to meet you," the Warden offers as he turns around, making his way out of the camp.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"<em>Dareth shiral, da'len</em>," are the parting words the Keeper leaves with Yasusada, a parting wish that he might travel safely. "<em>Dareth shiral... mamae</em>," he says, before catching up with Okita, sparing a sad smile for his clan.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>He's too far away to hear the Keeper's quiet sob of, "Goodbye, my child," as the other elves crowd her offering words of comfort. But, he feels her sentiment in his heart as he travels through dirt paths of the forest that give way to the cobblestone roads that lead into the unknown.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Translations:<br/>Da'len: Young one, child<br/>Hahren: Elder, one to be respected<br/>Shem/Shemlen: 'Quick Child,' - Elvhen term for humans<br/>Dareth Shiral: Farewell; Safe Journeys<br/>Mamae: Mama/Mother<br/>Suleidn: Endure</p><p>Thank you everyone for reading! I know I jumped the gun a bit with the last two drabbles, so for everyone who is unfamiliar, I thought it'd be a good idea to do a Dragon Age: Origins-style origin story set up for the boys. Hopefully it helps everyone who don't know as much about the game understand it a little better. Kudos and comments are always welcome, and you can find me @PomeSani on twitter if you want to yell about TKRB AUs with me</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Reflection</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>When you never get any real answers, you can only think of the same thing over and over. Staying out by the campfire does little to bring Kashuu any sort of answers, but it's still Yasusada who can always call him home when he lets his mind wander too far.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Most important bit this time around:<br/>https://dragonage.fandom.com/wiki/Grey_Wardens<br/>https://dragonage.fandom.com/wiki/Dragon_Age:_The_Calling<br/>https://dragonage.fandom.com/wiki/City_elves</p>
<p>Also a bit of backstory for Okitagumi's situation. Kashuu's origin, coming soon, has him found by a lone Grey Warden who takes him in to help him find life as something other than a criminal after learning that he was an orphan. The plan was to eventually turn Kashuu into a Grey Warden, and Yasusada comes along not too long after. But Okita succumbs to the calling before they're finally old enough to turn into proper Wardens. Kashuu learns that Wardens only live to die, and holds resentment for Okita that he took in both he and Yasusada only to kill them (in his eyes). Yasusada has no idea what happened to Okita, or if he's alive because Kashuu is trying to spare him the same painful revelation. Later on, the Wardens catch on that Okita is missing and the two recruits promised to them never actually joined. Mutsunokami and Nagasone are sent to retrieve them and to confirm if the Warden had actually died or not by doing a cursory look around the Deep Roads.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“<em>Knife-ear</em>,” when hissed through hateful teeth had to be the most uncreative slur for elves, Kashuu thinks. Seriously, there was no effort in it at all. “<em>Rabbit</em>,” being whispered behind the silk-gloved hands of Olresian and Antivan nobility did make him think for a moment. ‘<em>Ah, cause of the ears</em>,’ he mused to himself once before, wandering the streets of Antiva City with little more to his name than the clothes on his back.</p>
<p>It wasn’t a good thing, but Kashuu supposed he didn’t mind too much being likened to something cute and beloved- as long as he didn’t take into account his ears. Seriously, how much did humans actually care about something so trivial? Maybe he would never know, being only half.</p>
<p>But it just wasn't humans who were caught up on the status of how whittled down his ears were, making part of his genealogy glaringly obvious. The elves of the Alienage, no matter where he went (and he’s traveled a lot, since his youth) always seemed to know that he was not entirely like them. Somehow, hearing “<em>Flat-ear</em>,” being thrown at him by other elves actually hurt more than the casual prejudice so easily thrown around and expected of humans. “<em>Shem</em>,” too was thrown at him by the Alienage elves who held on to only a modicum of a heritage lost to war and time. He’d never known the meaning growing up, and half-regretted asking Yasusada for it. </p>
<p>“That’s a Dalish word, it’s short for <em>shemlen</em>. It’s a way to refer to humans, but it’s not exactly nice sometimes,” he replied helpfully, but Kashuu seemed more upset at that knowledge than anything else. "It just means 'quick child.' My Keeper says it's because humans don't live as long as elves," the mage interjects quickly, sensing Kashuu's discomfort.</p>
<p>But to no avail, the red-eyed youth couldn't take any solace in that knowledge.</p>
<p>With humans, it always came down to his ears and with elves, it seemed much the same. It was frustrating to deal with, feeling that he couldn’t quite place himself in one box or another- making him feel much more inclined to just cut the damn things off if they would never be right. The looks on both Yasusada's and Okita's faces would have been funny the day he tried if Yasusada weren't crying so hard. Okita, ever the wise and gentle mentor, then took him on a walk, explained something or another about not letting the world make him hate himself or whatever, and relating it to his magic. It was a lesson that Kashuu took to heart in his youth but now puts it on a shelf of memories and feelings about a warden who took on the responsibility of protecting two vulnerable kids from the world, only to abandon them.</p>
<p>Instead, he likes to think about when Yasusada would pull his head into his lap and tell him stories about the dalish. "My clan would have loved you. I know it because there was another person just like you, and they were so happy that he wanted to learn about the old ways, it didn't matter that he was half," the mage would say with a big smile. "I think you would have liked living with them, though there are no trips to the city. I heard from the keeper that the humans from cities hated the Dalish because none of them would ever submit themselves to a human," Yasusada would continue, playing with Kashuu's hair as the young half-elf would pout- pretending to be unimpressed or dissatisfied.</p>
<p>"Well the city doesn't have wild animals in it and has baths," he'd complain, if only not to look too satisfied and content with stories of what could have been.</p>
<p>Sometimes, Kashuu thinks he misses those days. Sure, they were often homebound because every now and then Okita would have to go off and do whatever it was that wardens do, but those boring days where there was nothing better to do than to listen to Yasusada spin him more tales of his old clan, teach him their stories and even a little bit of elvhen; he'd kill to be able to go back to that again. </p>
<p>It would beat having to deal with his partner looking way more world-weary than when they first met and the constant bickering between everyone they made their current company with. </p>
<p>A part of him suspects that he should be grateful that the two Grey Wardens that have tagged along with their group seemed to get along with Yasusada well enough, but that fact only made him bitter; especially when Kanesada joined in on the banter about how amazing Grey Wardens were. The taller one with the odd hair and weird ears was especially annoying. "We're not here to conscript anybody, you can stop looking so suspicious," he'd always say.</p>
<p>But if that were true, then why didn't the sloppy-looking guy stop going on and on about how Kanesada and Yasusada would make such great wardens? Kashuu won't be played for a fool twice, he's already lost one person to this damned order, he's not going to lose the only one he has left to them.</p>
<p>So Kashuu remains suspicious, consistently glaring down the other wardens when their eyes fell on him or when they were filling the more gullible members of the group with tales of grandeur. At least Horikawa seemed to share his sentiment, always politely interrupting the conversation to claim he needed Kanesada for something or another and pulled him away from the boasting. Between the four of them, it was nice they had something to not be at each other's throats about.</p>
<p>"You look like you swallowed something rotten,  Kiyomitsu," </p>
<p>Yasusada's voice cuts through his sulking as he glares at the campfire. Kashuu blinks in surprise as he slowly comes back to reality. Everyone was slowly readying themselves for bed and making their way into their respective tents. "Also you're being really quiet, are you okay?" </p>
<p>Kashuu nods his head and tries to shake off the bitterness that his previous thoughts had wrought. "I'm fine, you do enough talking for the both of us. I just figured I'd let you take the lead," Kashuu teases with a small grin as Yasusada rolls his eyes and shoves him lightly. "You're so mean to me. I'm gonna go to sleep and if you find a lizard in your bedroll it's not my fault!" Yasusada calls out as he steps away into their tent with a cheeky smile.</p>
<p>It was so familiar and welcome when Kashuu closed his eyes and lingered on those words he could almost pretend that he was back in Lothering. After Okita had gone, when it was just Kashuu doing his best to ward off the templars and any well-meaning neighbors who would try to do the right thing and send him to an orphanage and Yasusada off to a circle.</p>
<p>It was a trying time indeed, but the fragile little peace they built for themselves before the Blight will remain precious to him, and while Kashuu was content with forgetting the past- he'd indulge in the moments that felt like those times if only for a second to bring himself some inner peace. But his eyes fell on the two wardens again, still doing something or another outside of their tent, and it made Kashuu feel on edge, any calm abandoning him now.</p>
<p>“Oh hey, Kashuu!” The one with the unkempt mop of hair shouts at him as he accidentally makes eye contact with him. Mutsunokami, his name might have been? Kashuu isn’t sure, but the warden approaches him with the warrior following close behind.</p>
<p>“Hey, we were talking to Yasusada earlier and we found out you were a half-elf too!” He exclaims, completely unaware of the bothered aura the rogue was giving off. “...So?” he questions uncertainly, unsure of where this topic of conversation was headed. “So? Don’t you want to guess which one of us is half? It’ll be fun!” he exclaims, eyes almost as annoyingly bright as Yasusada’s could get when excited about one mundane thing or another.</p>
<p>“It’s me, I’m half too,” the bulkier warden Nagasone- if Kashuu recalled correctly- interjected, cutting the other man off. “Eh? Hey, he was supposed to guess!” and he couldn’t help but see just why Yasusada had taken such a shining to this walking mess of a man.  “It’s nothing important, just thought you’d like to know your traveling companions a little more- before we get to Orzammar,” Nagasone states nonchalantly, though there was an unspoken tension hidden in his words.</p>
<p>“Mutsunokami can be a handful sometimes, but he means well. I wouldn’t have known you were half though, you seem way more pure-blooded than I am,” he continues, unaware of the way Kashuu’s eye twitches with annoyance. “Right right, it’s easier to call me a knife-ear you know. Takes less time and is way more to the point,” he complains, standing up and crossing his arms across his chest with an offended huff.</p>
<p>"Ah, not at all what I was trying to say. I'm sorry for offending you, I just... wanted to say I know what it's like- not being what people want you to be, that is," he tries, voice momentarily losing its usual bravado. "My ears might have looked more like yours at one point too, but they never healed right," Nagasone says as the messier Warden's face falls into an uncharacteristically more somber one.</p>
<p>"Darkspawn?" Kashuu questioned with an annoyed huff. What was this man wasting his time on him for? He didn't care if the Warden had another brutal tale of darkspawn attacks, and how Kashuu should be more open to the idea of becoming one of them. Not after all that's happened- he was much too content with remaining discontent. "No, it was my father," Nagasone responds curtly, breaking the train of thought, and momentarily the rogue thinks he should feel bad. Almost lets himself get roped into a sob story, one about how much that man suffered, no doubt ending with how the Wardens were his one true salvation from a wretched life.</p>
<p>Almost.</p>
<p>Okita had a sob story too, all Wardens did. There was no way Kashuu would let himself be swayed by a sad man's pitiful beginnings and the glory he sought to achieve now, not again.</p>
<p>"Well, that's a perfectly terrible thing. Unless you have anything important to say, why don't we keep bad things in the past? Where they belong," he says pointedly, all too thankful that Yasusada with his overly empathetic nature wasn't present to dissuade him from being so selfish as he turns heel, standing just outside of his tent when Nagasone stops him once more.</p>
<p>"I do have something else," he begins, golden eyes hardening to a steely edge. "The rite of conscription is still a thing. I don't like the idea of having to conscript anyone, and most Wardens like it better when they come willingly, not when their backs are forced against the wall,"</p>
<p>The two return to their tent after that, leaving Kashuu's blood running ice-cold. He's too stunned to register Mutsunokami's disappointed sigh of, "So much for trying to find common ground," as he watches them blankly, face marred with anxiety. "Kiyomitsu? Is that you?" He hears Yasusada call from inside the tent, shaking the rogue out of his previous stupor. Yasusada is dressed down to his inner clothes, leather arm guards, and other reinforced dalish gear now long since tossed aside as he peeks his head out of the entrance.</p>
<p>"Hey, it's creepy when you just stand there, you know. It's not like you haven't seen me naked before," he teases, face pulled into an impish grin as he pulls Kashuu into the tent, meeting no resistance as he does so. "It's nothing like that, you insufferable little pervert," he hisses, no menace coming from the words easily passing through pale lips.</p>
<p>"Sure, sure. Who were you talking to anyway?" Yasusada asks as he moves aside his own mess away from his partner's side of the tent, mostly just a few journals that he kept- scribbled with some non-sense that Kashuu could never make heads or tails of- his clothes, and staff. Kashuu does take notice of one of the journals, still open and filled with Yasusada's hasty scribbling, the scent of ink still fresh as he huffs and strips himself of his own clothes, ready to roll into bed and hope that tomorrow didn't bring any new problems.</p>
<p>"Those weirdos," he says bitterly, knowing he wouldn't have to elaborate when Yasusada turns to him with a disappointed pout. "Don't give me that look, I just want to go to sleep," the rogue complains, his partner only sighing in response. It's quiet as Kashuu settles into his bedroll, no scaly friends panicking to greet him as Yasusada had threatened earlier. The only sounds are their even breathing and the sound of a quill pen scratching against the paper as the mage continues whatever it was he was doing before Kashuu walked in.</p>
<p>"What are you writing?" The halfling asks after a few moments of unsuccessfully trying to force his body to calm enough to actually go to sleep, Nagasone's words still hanging heavy in his mind.</p>
<p>"Just some old Dalish songs and prayers. I have most of them committed to memory, but I'm afraid of forgetting sometimes," Yasusada answers with his eyes still trained on his writing. Briefly, Kashuu thinks they should have a talk, about whether or not Yasusada should abandon these things- it's not like there were any Dalish clans that they could turn to, or probably even appreciate that a human raised as a Dalish still knew so much about them. That maybe, he doesn't have to commit himself as much as he used to.</p>
<p>But that sort of thing was something that would be difficult and probably make both of them upset, and honestly, Kashuu wasn't sure if there really was any harm in letting Yasusada have this one thing. </p>
<p>So he rolls over to the mage, content on being a nuisance as he carefully plucks the journal from his partner's lap- ignoring his protest of "Give that back!" while Kashuu settles his head on his covered lap, stubbornly nuzzling warm thighs as Yasusada scoffs, putting his quill to the side and closing his inkwell, screwing the cap shut. "I told you I was doing something," he pouts, leaning back onto his hands as the half-elf adjusts himself before he's finally comfortable enough.</p>
<p>"I'm just testing you. You said you had this stuff memorized, so just say it back to me," Kashuu says, face purposefully turned away from Yasusada's to try and hide the obvious intentions behind his actions. It's not lost on Yasusada, oblivious as he can be, on how familiar this was. Like Kashuu would turn over in his lap and he'd see a youthful face full of disdain for the world, hiding a poorly masked eagerness for whatever the young mage would have to say to him.</p>
<p>"You haven't changed a bit," he says with a small laugh, hands instinctively running through chestnut locks of hair, gently pulling it back as he runs his fingers through silky strands. </p>
<p>Kashuu only gives a slight grumble in response, waiting impatiently for Yasusada to soothe him to sleep- kindly welcoming the more pleasant memories of being in this position and warding off the ones about <em>that guy </em>with a vigor renewed by his previous interaction with the Wardens.</p>
<p>"<em>Elgara Vallas da'len</em>," Yasusada begins, his voice smoothing out sweet and melodic as he sings the first verse, eyes closed with a fond smile. "<em>Melava somniar, mala taren aravas</em>," </p>
<p>"<em>Ara ma'desen melar</em>," warm hands smooth over Kashuu's shoulders in a comforting way at the end of the verse, and he feels himself growing sleepy. He remembers the song, Yasusada saying something about the woman who'd raised him using that to lull him to sleep.</p>
<p>"<em>Iras ma ghilas, da'len? Ara ma ne'dan ashir. Dirthara, lothlenan'as bal emma dir</em>," the soothing melody continues, helping to calm frayed nerves as Kashuu's eyelids grow heavy with sleep. Blearily, he tries to remember the meaning of the words, but he can only make out bits and pieces.</p>
<p>There's a slight shift as Yasusada returns his hands to play with his hair, fondly caressing the man in his hold with a soft smile, before drawing in a breath.</p>
<p>"<em>Tel'enfenim, da'len, irassal ma ghilas. Ma garas mir renan</em>," Kashuu stirs momentarily with a little bit of childish frustration as he tries his hardest to remember the words- so familiar and yet the meaning was still lost to him but-</p>
<p>"<em>Ara ma'athlan vhenas</em>," he smiles to himself a little, he remembers that line- at the very least. And as Yasusada draws in a breath once more, singing the final verse, Kashuu finally falls into a fitful sleep.</p>
<p>
  <em>"Ara ma'athlan vhenas,"</em>
  <br/>
  <em>'I will call you home,'</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So I'm a little worried that this might be a little unenjoyable for those who don't know or haven't played the Dragon Age series, so I'll try to provide as much context in the notes as possible in each chapter, as well as provide a few links for some general information. Thanks for giving this a read! If you want to know more about this AU, you're welcome to ask me about it on my twitter @PomeSani!</p><p>I have so many completed AU drabbles but no actual chapters, so it feels kind of nice to just upload the drabbles I wrote for fun. I hope you guys enjoyed reading!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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